Tuesday, January 17, 2012

My Word of the Year

I want to tell you so many things about me, but these things, for now at least, will remain private. It is something I struggle with daily, and it is the bad reason why my blog remains silent sometimes (as opposed when I need to spend time with my husband and girls…that’s the good reason).

This year, however, I want to change that. I want to move past these hurdles that are in my head and in my heart and realize my dream, which is to basically do what I love while supporting my family. I cannot turn back time and be an art major instead of a science major. But it is not too late to try, even as I live the last 5 months of my thirties.

I chose this word of the year to get me moving. To do. To get past. To jump over those hurdles. To create.

And to once and for all, stop behavior that stops me from moving.

My word of the year is…

GO 2012

Last week for me was a rough week. Negativity that I’ve been trying to lay to rest for almost 20 years unexpectedly sprang up and paralyzed me. It was one of those times where I thought I had done everything right, but in the end it was of no use. I felt like a fool, and so disappointed.

Anyways, I allowed myself to wallow. Part of me doesn’t regret allowing myself to rest and vent to my husband and best friend (thank you to you both, I love you). It’s funny because I had JUST set a goal to post 3 times a week (one tutorial, one list of 5 inspiring things to feature others, and one anything).

But as I look back, I wasted so much time on something that was so out of my control, so hopelessly finished and so not worth it. I don’t want this to happen again. The negative naysayers would want me to be frozen in fear and do nothing and prove them right so they can clobber me all over again.

I know I’m capable of more. Maybe the experience last week was the “rock bottom” I needed to look at myself and say eew what is up with you.

Oh I wish I could tell you more, because I’m sure there are those of you out there that have gone through what I am going through. Maybe someday.

For now, I’m focusing on moving, doing, creating.

Yo Steph, Just GO!

PS. I think this time last year, my word would have been START, and the year before would definitely have been PEACE.

Linking: The Lettered Cottage

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7 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry that you had a down week! I love your new word and your renewed energy! I look forward to seeing what the new year brings and feel free to reach out to me via email if there is anything I can do to help!

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  2. Great word! I hope it really helps you to keep going and trying to put the past stuff behind you. We all have those down days and weeks and it's important to keep looking forward! Remember, we all think you're awesome! x

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  3. Steph -

    This is one of the many reasons I chose GO as my Verb of the year! Hoping we GO beyond our own expectations!

    - Deborah

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  4. You Go Girl! Big hugs and lots of love from Walnut CA

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  5. Great word! I hope this year is full of great experiences for you as you go, go, go! :)

    I have posted about my word of the year on my blog if you wish to read about it! :)

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  6. Yo Steph! Just GO!!!

    (insert Tawny cheerleading chant here) You can do whatever is in your heart to do.

    PS: I'm in the same boat as you with the - I wish I had been an art major instead of law... oh well... it just means we're smart enough to do whatever we choose to do :D

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  7. Steph, we support you 100% -- you go, girl!!! Do what you need to do and take it one step at a time. I'm sorry that you are struggling inside and hope that this new year will allow you to open up, seek help if needed, and go forth! GO, GO, GO! :) Happy New Year -- it's coming up and I can't wait to do the fire cracker project in my son's Kindergarten class on Monday! I made a few samples to day -- so fun! I had to tweak it a bit for being in the classroom with 23 students! Smile and GO, Steph, GO!!! :)
    Big Hugs,
    Steph

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